A fork in the road

There's a fork in the road ahead of me
and down each path I can see
neither future i want at all
scared of each to be honest

I see you in my mind
in pictures and different sings
i think i love you
it seems true
but i cant go on in these itchy sheets

3 hours to fall asleep
just to hear that alarm beep
and know another day is here
that so much in it i fear

I'm just a little boy
scared of this and that and everything in between
scared of losing you
scared ill take my life too soon

I see you play with your friends
but for me its always dead ends
i want to smile and laugh
but all i feel is my heart drop

one path leads to ups and downs
but only two weeks in,
I dont know how much worse it could get
its like i have so much to look forward to
and yet I dont even want to wake up in the morning

The other path is short,
a cliff at the end
over the edge ill send
cause I don't ever want to see you
and you not be mine

I pray that my love would be genuine
but somehow this room is still thinning
squeezing me towards the fork
i must choose a path

Its the same things that happened with her
with you i wouldnt let it happen- i swore
and now here i am not a smile
to open a single present

I cried last night for the first time in a while
when it rains it pours
and when it pours people drown
I hope sometimes i get swept under
or maybe that bridge can help me out...

Memories and pictures used to satisfy
now nothing this mind can pacify
I'm scared of each and every path
there may be more options but they all loop to death

I've said this before and ill say it as i sit
i want to love you each day hold you each night
for now I'm too scared to say it
but I'm sure I'm losing this fight