Is this really my home

Or have I rented this

House for a while? I 

Had a different

Home once, and

Now I'm feeling

Homeless.

I

Think I

Used to live

On the beach but

It's just in my head

Forgetting a memory takes time

Forgetting a smile takes replacement

the weightless feeling  seeing the sky kiss the ocean in every blue and that jet black that only some know of is impossible to forget. For me it is

Oh to see that sight without fear of an approaching storm. To have the black wink back at you while shadow Rays make a smile in the clouds

Oh that this beauty would let itself be admired, instead it rains everyday.

The ocean swells from the gray clouds above

And I'm beginning to forget that ocean.

Allow me to see it once more.

Sumday

How I long to go back to that past world

Where the sun shone red and lit up the whole earth

As bright as the smile on my face

I miss my wife from that place

She only ever was beautiful

The impossibly perfect to me

An incorruptible soul among the clouds 

She sang with her ocean eyes towards heaven

But that past world has nothing for me

Just a run down body and a ruined city

Where everything suddenly is black

And the smells give you a heart attack

You can't simply dream of a past time

Even in dreams we know when something isn't right 

I just wake up saying, "what a lie."

To go back to that place and see my children's faces

See them dance under the moon and wave goodbye on my business trips

But in this world the moon has fallen out of the sky 

And I'm told everything was a lie

Maybe one day I'll learn to let myself dream at night but for now the sheets are too itchy